Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Now and Then - A deeper look into myself.

5 years ago, If I were to ask myself  "where would you be in 5 years time". Well I never pictured that I would be here writing this and living where I am, and who I am with now.

5 years ago, I was an independent woman who had a full time job. Earning enough money each fortnight to have some spending money to buy things I wanted. Yes, I still lived at home. But I did pay a bit of rent to help dad out. I had the freedom to go out on my own whenever I wanted to. I was single, and just expected the fact I was going to be alone for the rest of my life and become a crazy cat lady, who still lived at home.

I was OK with that, I had a social life and a work life. Life was pretty nice at the time. But I wasn't happy.

Then one Friday night I decided to record Rage on the ABC channel and watched over the weekend.

And then I saw the one song that would change my life completely.

             


Now back then I was wearing a pair of jeans and T-shirt.  I wore either a pair of thongs or sneakers. I didn't own any skirts or dresses except for maybe one or two. And everything I did own was either blue, black and grey. Even my hair short and black. And I was a size 16

Me, 5 years ago,

 
But in the last four years since meeting my boyfriend, my style had begun to change.

Jeans turned into leggings and some shorts.  T-shirts became cute print t-shirts, I still wear thongs for casual outings like shopping and sneakers in the winter time. I own a few pairs of slightly heeled shoes. And I have dresses. Oh and I now have colour in my wardrobe!

Me, in March 2014


Now there is big change in the 5 years that the 2 photos were taken.

Firstly, yes I'm wearing a dress, and make up! The dress is bright blue with cats on it. I'm wearing cat ears. My hair is long and it is my natural hair colour. Oh and I've gained a complete dress size or two.

But it wasn't all that changed. I became a live-in carer. My spending money became my savings. And both my independence and social life got locked away.  I had lost who I once was. But for three of years of losing myself, I was happy and in love.

However, in the last year, I had began to find myself again while still being in love and happy. I started baking/cooking more, making cards (or just any kind of paper craft) and just getting back into the shows and movies I used to watch. I still miss my music (other than the music that I have on my IPhone) and going to concerts. But I am working on that.

I'm doing a Cert 3 in Aged Care and in a couple of weeks, I will be doing 3 weeks work placement. There is lots of work in the Aged Care industry and once I've completed the course I could go straight into a job or I could keep studying.

But right now, I'm still happy and still very much in love. And I'm almost back to being my complete self again.


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